Aging is a relentless beast. If you have ever stared at a clock long enough, willing the hands to slow down you can fool yourself into imaging that time moves slowly. This is somewhat true as most things have a pace far quicker than that second hand reaching its next notch. But consider that the motion of the second hand is in perpetual, unrelenting propulsion and how distracted our lives have become, you can easily find yourself staring back at a middle aged man who mimics you in the mirror.
Comedian and self-help author, Steven Fisackerly identifies 3 signs you’re not young anymore. And thankfully explaining why that’s fine!
Blur vs Gorillaz
You know when you’re middle aged when you are sat alone at a bar enjoying your second beer with a whisky ( see next point) and you strike up a conversation with small group of younger drinkers.
Upon mentioning the merits of British Indie Rock band ‘Blur’, you are offered blank faces and an apologetic “who?” by one of the group. The grave realisation that you are now officially old is upon you. Explaining to them Gorillaz is new operation system of Blur, their eventual recognition adds insult to injury when they admit to hearing that when they were at primary school.
That said, having more years on the clock means more experience and knowledge. Gorillaz are a great band and with these years of knowledge you can be more discerning in your music tastes.
Alcohol
You know when you’re middle aged when you are sat alone at a bar enjoying your second beer with a whisky (yes this is a direct lift from previous point) because the first beer barely touched the sides and the sweet taste of Jameson’s is the only thing that remotely tastes alcoholic.
Ageing involves developed relationships with your vices and alcohol is probably your longest annoyingly loyal friend. As a result, the friendship requires a little more substance and you can no longer have a single beer in an evening.
The upside is that you can always find your way home and even pass for sober when you need to. Since the drunk excesses of your youth and the sheer cost of drinking in a pub, there’s the self-assurance that you are able to cope with most levels of intoxication.
Memory
Having that tense moment drug the anecdote you are half way into describing to your friends that you realise you can’t remember how it ends is a very familiar troupe of aging. Admittedly turning 40 shouldn’t spell dementia just yet, but the dread of not only looking a bit silly; the terrifying admission that your cognitive faculties just skipped a beat is a far more disconcerting.
Thankfully those awful memories of misdemeanours are gently gone into that good night whilst the present affords conscience clear bliss.
But if it all sounds a little nihilistic, one can be comforted by music is an ever more abundance now, there are better alcohol free beers now available and people are more sensitive to the trappings of mental health deterioration now.
